June bugs

I love June bugs. There i said it.I know, you probably hate them. I think i might be the only one,(at least the i have met) that likes them. Sure they are huge, slow and get stuck in your hair when you try to use your front door in the evening but i think i can change your mind. This year it seems that the sweet brown babies are everywhere. In entomological terms, they have met their thresh hold. I have heard more times these last few weeks how gross they are, but please take a few moments to hear about a few of their finer points.
#1. June bug, (Phyllophaga) will NOT hurt you. In fact they are big, dumb scaredy cats. They spend most of their day hiding from us. they may be larger than most bugs you meet, but that does not mean we should fear them. the fire ants in my driveway cause way more pain than this silly beetle can. really, they are the puppy dogs of the bug world. helpless and looking for friends.I mean really, should we fear something that is to round to flip itself over?
#2. They give themselves up to feed so many others. Yes, i know, "they eat the roots of my grass". It might be true that they nibble a bit on our beloved outdoor carpet, but i had hundreds in my yard this year and my lawn still looks...well the same as it did. the crab grass i lovingly mow is still growing just as strong as it was last year. My point is that they eat a bit of our grass but they feed thousands of other things like ants, frogs, toads, birds and a bunch of soft furry creatures that we love. I realized how much these behemoth bugs sacrifice when one morning on my sidewalk i found a beetle on its back, legs still helplessly moving but its lower half was gone. Just gone! someone had come by, took a bite and left this poor fellow to deal with it. Now how would that make you feel?
#3.They bring the summer. As the spring warms and then freezes again over and over till you think summer will never get here and you will lose your mind the June bugs show up and we know all is well. they mean summer is here. you hear that helicopter like hum in the air fallowed by the tell tale "smack" sound of them hitting something and you just know that warm weather is on the way.
So in conclusion i just ask one thing, please be kind to the June bug. I'm not asking you to have some in for tea, just don't go out of your way to crunch them. They only hang out for so long and then they will be gone and before we all know it the sun will set on yet another summer.Just think of them as you would the firefly, butterfly or any other welcomed summer guest. they play a roll in your life as part of the food chain and they do it so well. As with all things in life, let us not hate something just because we do not understand it.

Selling our souls

I don't understand commercials today. Are we really that far gone that we want to be insulted into buying products. Seems like every time i watch TV,(which is not very often) the voice over is mocking me the costumer. They paint men to look like lazy, overgrown children that are commanded by their know it all wife, Kids that are "too cool" to ride in a car with their parents, even pets get into the act. Just today i saw a commercial were puppy's went on a love strike unless they get what they want...Really?? Dose this work for us? I hope that this is not a true reflection of how rude we have become as a nation. If you ever catch anything on the classic game show network you can see how commercial were done in the 50's. So much more class, kindness and information. I get that a lot of you might miss seeing a half naked woman trying to sell you orange juice,(because everyone knows how sexy squeezed fruit is) but back then they did them on a live set. a woman or man impeccably dressed would hold out the product or if it was too large, would wave their hands about it as it sat on a table,while a calm, comforting voice would give the details of the pitch. There was no loud music, soft core porn and most of all no insults. just the facts given with a smile and some times a wink if the gal was feeling sassy. I get that this was a very low budget way to sell, but again, whats wrong with that. think about how much we would save on product if the manufactures saved on ads. I like a good funny commercial. i have nothing against humor. I love snickers and most of the Old spice ads, i just don't like the rude ones. I like my husband. He works hard. I don't run around telling him how it is and what he has to do for me while i roll my eyes at my girlfriends and say something rude like, "i' know he's gonna screw this up but its good to let him try". Are there no men left in the advertising world that take offence to this? Oh, wait, there are plenty of men in the biz, who do you think must be making all the axe body wash commercials. some of the sickest form of day time porn you can get. So you might think I'm a prude, but I'm not. I', just a gal with kids and a husband that i respect.When kids today see these kind of ads it only reinforces in there soft lil' minds that this is the way it is. Little boys can grow up thinking they are only good for lusting after women while being told how to dress by the one they wish they had not married. And our daughter can grow up not only knowing that their husband will be unfaithful to them but that she MUST be an over bearing wench to get anything done. i know my view on this seem extreme but we all have to admit how much power is in ads. we sing the songs, we know the slogans and the spokesman. I just hope that politeness will come back "in". I guess till that day comes,(I'm not going to hold my breath) I'm supposed to lean on my mop handle in a string bikini and knowingly shake my head at my big, childlike husband while the kids demand what they want from us. Ah, that's the kind of home i want.

Jeopardy, yes please!

I love facts. Useful knowledge, useless knowledge, makes no difference to me. I love to pack information into my brain. If someone says the word trivia or quiz i actually get excited. I have major areas of interest but i will listen to or learn just about anything. You would think a love of learning would be a good thing right? Nope, not always. It was not until i met and married my beloved husband that i woke from my life long delusion that all people like fun facts and useless trivia information. My husband Ben could care less about most topics. He will be the first to tell you that. He has about two major areas of learning interest and outside of that his mind just shuts down. One day i was jabbering on about my desire to do better on the violin and he said, "i don't get why people want to play a musical instrument. you seem so frustrated by your progress. that does not sound like fun to me." I thought about what he said. Why is it fun for me to try so hard at something and still be so bad? I don't know, it just is. I don't understand why he leaves the room when a show comes on the history channel about the bubonic plague. that's like T.V. gold to me. I don't believe that retaining facts is a sign on intelligence. Ben is incredibly smart. He is working through his masters in divinity, a task that would probably make my head explode.  We are just different, as all people are. He knows that i can talk theology for about a two hour car ride and then I'm done, just like i know that when he gets that glassy eyed glaze over his face that its about time i stop telling him about how the fall of Rome occurred and how it still affects us today. I think its funny that i am even interested in why we all like different things. Likes and dislikes are such an odd thing. I can not tell you why i have the sudden urge to read about how bleach works or where whale sharks live.Its just how my brain works. I love variety. It truly is the spice of life so I'm thankful that Ben and i are different. We learn from each other, even when we don't want too.

"Happy Mother's day"

In Honor of Mother's Day i thought i would share some random observations from the parental side. Kids a truly a blessing. Almost everyone says that right? Well that's because they are. They say and do some of the craziest, funniest and grossest things you never could have imagined. here are only a few examples. young children will always want to show or give you their boogers. To them a booger is a treasure, pure gold mined from a part of their sweet lil' bodies.When my 2 year old boy looks and me and says "mom, i got a booger", there is such pride in his voice. Children will always wait till you are near them to pass gas. It seems like every time i am doing my daughter's hair she poots and giggles as the rancous odor raises up her back to my unprotected nostrils. If you have a child in diapers and you have someplace to go, they will hold their poo until you are in the car, get to your destination or where ever is the most inconvenient place to let it rip. I always thought that things would get tricky when my daughter turned 13, but i was wrong. You see hormones start early in sweet little girls. Most days are great but there are a few thrown in when the sass is flowing like honey. Raising a girl into a young woman is like seeing a wave far o. ff the shore. As you stand and watch it it grows and grows and grows until the wave hits about age 12 or 13 and then swallows you up in a fit that goes between, "i love you mom" to "i hate you, why did you ever have me?" (all of those things must be said in a tear filled, my life is over sort of way.) I really look forward to it!!
Right now my kiddos are at the phase where they can still share a meal when we go out but i know the day is coming when we will need to pad lock the fridge against my son. One day i will come home to find him eating a BOX of cereal out of my biggest Tupperware dish and he will say something like, "hi mom, did you get any food while you were out?" All of this is said in fun and with love. I have too many friends that say "i will never have kids, all people do is complain about them." sadly that might be true but i will end on a few of the BEST things in life...things you can only feel if you have a child.
The first time you make your baby laugh. best sound ever.The feeling of being the only person that can calm and "heal" some one's boo boo's. The feel of tiny, sticky, pudgy lil' hands on your face. The smell of a sweaty, sun scene covred "summer kid" as they sleep in the car on the way home from the beach. One day seeing them move on to do things that will make you proud like ride a bike, do well in per algebra, and one day make you a grand parent. It can be hard to help lil' humans grow up. i like to sleep in like the rest of you but i would never trade one second of my motherhood away. I love my kids!!

Don't kill the bird!

While playing ball out back with my husband he told me a tip about batting. "hold the bat lose, like a bird that you don't want to get away but that you don't want to kill." As we both took turns trying this he said "wow, its amazing that when you don't try to hard it works so much better,just like Golf". Right when he said that a light bulb went off in my head,(or maybe i got hit with a ball, who knows). What was my great epiphany? That tip does not just work for batting a ball or swinging a club it works for life. When people are out in the dating world you can always tell the ones that want a relationship lil' too much.They are "killing the bird" instead of holding it and seeing what unfolds. They seem almost desperate and that is a turn off to most of the opposite sex. Even in the job field there is a fine line in letting a potential employer know you want the job and sobbing at their feet about your bills. There seems to be an odd thing about us humans that we like a bit of a chase, a hunt if you will. we don't always want everything put right in our lab. we seem to put more value on things that were harder to obtain. Now there are a few things were i would say you should go all the way in something, like Med school for instance. I don't really want a doctor to say, "I kinda think your problem is in your inner ear, but it might be in your brain. I'm not to sure cuz i didn't want to try to hard in class." That would be bad. But again there is a flip side, I don't want a Doctor that is distracted at work because his wife is leaving him because he made his work an idol. We have a saying here in our home and that is, "find yourself in the middle". Work hard, play hard, love well and keep your focus on the right path, but don't "kill the bird".

Fear the Meat Maven!

We eat a lot of sandwiches in our home. We love them. All kinds of meats and cheeses, piled high on a tasty roll or bread. toasted,soft, chilled, grilled, we love them all. My Husband and i just said the other day that we could live on good sandwiches and chips. There is only one small problem with this love of handheld meat heaven, the deli counter. Why do the people that work behind the deli counter even put an application in. they seem to truly hate their job. Each week i have to walk sheepishly up to the counter to wait. I know they see me. i am looking right at them. i always smile and try to be very understanding but nothing seems to charm the gods of the deli. After about eight minuets of shuffling about and looking at the out of date flat bread on display in front of me i am lucky to get a "be with you in a minute".Then i wait some more while the hair netted woman takes 5 chickens out of a rotisserie, deep fries some wing dings and goes into the back for who knows what.Mean while a rather sour faced woman approaches. she has the look of a "line jumper" about her. now I'm even more on edge because i have to make sure i talk to the Mistress of meats before this other dame does. Finally, when i am about to give up and go look at the bananas the deli maven comes out again. "what can i get you?'Yes! I have won the first battle, but the war has just began."i would like a pound of honey ham very thin please." With a mopey swing of the arms and a droop of the head she turns to find the right meat. Her body language screams,"I'll give you some honey ham sweet thing, and I'll tell you were to put it." But for all that she lopes over to the slicer to begin the burdensome task of cutting the meat. After the scale reaches a pound it is bagged and handed over she resentfully asks," anything else?" when what she means is,"Will you please get the heck out of here." I apologetically ask for a pound of Colby jack cheese. she glares.
Now, i have worked many jobs,put in hundreds of hours of servitude so i know how it feels to be on the other end of "the counter", but i was always nice to my customers. Co-workers, that might be different, but customers, they were almost fun. A change of pace. someone new to talk to. What i would give for a person like that to slice my meats!While she is cutting the cheese,(sorry, could not help it), i have lots of time to see if there is turkey or salami that looks good,but do i risk it. Do i ask for one more thing and risk having a sharp deli object flung at me. That is always how i feel when I'm standing there. One item, you're just a pest. Two items, you are needy. Three items or more and you just think the world must revolve around your cold cut needs! "I have a dream, a dream of stress free deli purchasing. that one day all people can feel safe ordering the meats of their choosing without fear or judgement."

What are you made of?

In my youthful days I could have been called an "in your face" kind of gal. Not one to shy away from a fight, my words could be quick and cutting. It was something i was proud of...then. I now value peace in my life far more than being right. If you ask those closest to me I'm sure they would tell you that my skill for debate is still strong, but I'm a work in progress.I am brash, My tone comes off harsh and i work in sarcasm like a potter with clay. I have never feared people or really ever been intimidated. I have had many meeker gals tell me they envied me that. Funny how the grass is always greener because i always envied the "sweet girls". In one of my crazy daydreams there is a gentle girl dressed like a southern bell in a huge dress all lace and bows. she keeps her eyes down and only looks up to giggle and then looks away just a fast. So far from how i would imagine myself.In this odd daydream i would also be in a huge,fluffy dress,(what?i like big dresses). the only difference would be that i would burp, giggle and then make a joke about what the burp tasted like. I struggled with this for years. I wanted people to think of me a sweet, nice and lovable.I fought against conflict thinking that was my problem. "I'm just not going to bring anything up anymore." you know where that got me? Nowhere. the pressure just built up in my head until steam came out. OK, i had to look at this in a new way.It turns out conflict is not a bad thing. people have made it into a dirty word, but its actually healthy. Just depends on how you do it.We all need some conflict in our lives. It motivates, moves, stretches us. With out resistance we don't know what we are made of. "am i made of wood, glass or rubber?" you would never know until someone or some thing pushes on you.Then you see if you bend or break.it can be painful but once you know what you are you can work on who you want to be next, and oh yes, people can change!!  I had been fighting against my nature as a natural born leader. if i see a problem i want to fix it. i just needed the tools to "fix it in love".  I have worked hand in hand with a much higher power to get where I'm at today and i got to say i like me,(for the most part). My new philosophy in life, "Don't rock the boat unless the party is in the water". Meaning, unless it's a big deal, like we are missing the whole point, then just let it go.

Taste, my other mate.

Out of all five senses my favorite by far is taste. Sure seeing and hearing are great and all, but my taste buds and i are best of friends. I am a total foodie. "Hello, my name is Courtney and I'm addicted to taste." If i have a group that might be how the meeting started. I love to taste things. New things i have never tried,old things that i know and love. If given the choice between a day at the spa or an all you can eat buffet with and ice cream bar, the buffet would always win. If they could just come out with a candy that had real to life tastes of different things i would never need to eat again. i would just pop that in my mouth and enjoy the taste of an egg,sausage and cheese muffin followed by a chocolate shake, topped off by a sweet potato,corn dogs,chilly cheese fries and a coke. IF you have ever seen Willy wonka (the original,of course) when Violet eats that gum that has a full 5 course meal, that's my dream. Forget the gob stopper, i would never want a candy that never ended. The same taste over and over,that would be my nightmare. I know its taste that i like and not just food because i will eat even when I'm full. I know that is gluttony, but that's my cross to bear.
I once a had chat with a cool older lady. She told me that she is just not that into food anymore because her sense of taste was so dull. I think a tear ran down my cheek at the mention of this. i had never thought of loss of taste as an old age issues. Sure i had thought how i would be if i had lost all my teeth, went blind or passed gas without knowledge of it. these "old age" things had run through my mind more than once, but loss of taste? My retirement plan was to forget healthy and eat like the wind. "Grandma, would you like another slice of cake?" "Sure sweet thing and while your at it put some ice cream on the side and some hot fudge would be nice." That was going to be me. But what if I could not taste any of it? Well, if that day ever did come then just call me "old yeller",take me out back and put me out of my misery!

Fear of Cupboards.

I have a very rational fear of a few cupboards in my home. As a professional homemaker and CEO of our house, one might think that each and every nook and cranny was well organized and spot on. Sadly, that is not the case.There are two doors i fear most but for the sake of time i will share only one. It belongs to the baking sheets and metal pans. It is a nice cupboard, tall and slender, just what a cookie sheet needs to feel at home. But my hand tremors and lump forms in my throat every time i need to get something in or out of it. You see, it is set up like a game of Tetris, if you move one pan the whole form falls. Then its me grabbing and snatching at the sheets of cold metal as they nosily fall out onto the soft linoleum floor. i almost always pinch a finger or jam a nail into the wrong place, only inflaming my hate for this particular storage space. "reorganize" you may say. Simple enough, however i feel that my fear of this unstoppable mess steams from a cupboard from may past...My mom's linen cupboard.As a child and teen i clearly remember being asked to fetch a sheet or towel only to have all of aforementioned items fall on me in a waterfall of soft fabric. This sad sight would later be fallowed up by a shriek from my mom when she found the mess that was never meant to happen. In my more immature days as a homemaker the Tupperware area was a problem but that's child play compared to the "baking cupboard of doom". In the end i'm sure that i will resolve this issue only to be confronted by some new household terror, but for now this is "mein kampf".

mornings...men Vs. woman

It seems that men and women tackle a new day in very different ways. i can only speak for what i have seen, both in my home growing up and in my marriage. I chuckled to myself as i stood by my kitchen sink taking the first sip of coffee. It was only 6:14 am. I reason for my mirth? i was reviewing in my head the events that had gotten me to that cup of Joe. Here they are,  alarm sounds at 6am. I'm up! crawl out of my bed, Turn on light in the living room and rub my eye that were not yet ready for the brightness. Set up the t.v. with the cartoon that our daughter would most like. pull hair out of my face as i creep up our stair as quietly as possible. wake Addie while at the same time finding her an acceptable outfit for the day,(all done by night light).   Turn off her fan and nightlight and march her back downstairs.Next I must retrieve a healthy breakfast for her that can be safely eaten in her half sleeping stupor. make my coffee and while i wait for it i wash the two pots and the blender left soaking in the sink.When i go to put the dirty fork into the washer i find it clean, so i will now empty it,(again quietly so as not to wake the other sleeping child.)One look at the hot lunch menu lets me know i better get the good old ham and cheese packed and ready to go. Oh look, the Dog needs to go out, better put some food in his bowl while I'm at it. Then its time for my coffee to be poured into the mug and a gentle warning sent into the living room that "i hope breakfast is being eaten". That's the first 14 minuets on my day in a nut shell.
Here is how my husbands day looks between 6am and 6:14am.  Alarm sounds. He rolls over. 6:10am he has made it as far as the bathroom to find his glasses. Now he is in the kitchen getting a cup of coffee,(that i lovingly made for him).That's about it.
I don't say any of this in a judgemental way. I don't think men are lesser to women in anyway. We all have our jobs and my husband does his job very well. I just think it is interesting to see how the different sexes function together. I am proud of the fact that some days i have not really even opened my eyes before i have packed a lunch, wiped a butt or cooked some eggs. i am glad i am wired in a way that wants to care for the family that i have been blessed with.Sure some days i wish i was the one that got to lay in bed while smelling the coffee "make itself", but there are a million other responsibilities that i don't have to deal with in a day because my husband takes care of it for me.

what am i doing?

Hi. Not even sure who i am saying hi to. Doubt anyone will ever read this and i guess that's OK. I have reached a point in my life where i want to try something new so here i go.

I hate writing. Always have. As a 30 year old severely dyslexic mother of three i have no idea why i would want to venture into yet another time consuming endeavor, however I feel this might be a creative way for me to rant, vent and "get my words out" when i need to. People have told me this is therapeutic, we shall see. So far it just seems like rambling. I like rambling,(when I'm the one doing it) so i think i will go with that.
I know that i am going to mess my kids up in some ways. I pray daily that i do as little damage as possible. I say this to clue you in that i know i am not a perfect parent. That being said i will now share what is on my mind. i wish parents would stop caring if their kids liked them and started parenting again. i see so many kids running wild, begging with their actions to be loved. to be loved means to give boundaries and stick to them. Kids need to fail. They need to feel pain. Life has pain,heartbreak, and problems. If we fix everything for the next generation when they are kids then how will they know how to deal with anything as adults? My generation is already a great example of this. I still know 30 somethings that get bailed out by mom and dad. I have no clue what i am doing when it comes to my kids. I am the one that has the crazy kids running around the school, church, where ever driving everyone nuts. My point is that i am not and will not be afraid to step up to them and make them feel that their actions have consequences, both good and bad. I am going into this child rearing thing with my eyes wide open. I know i will here "its not fair", "i hate you" and "all the other kids..." 1000 times in the next 15 years but it will be worth it when they are productive members of this planet.