Taste, my other mate.

Out of all five senses my favorite by far is taste. Sure seeing and hearing are great and all, but my taste buds and i are best of friends. I am a total foodie. "Hello, my name is Courtney and I'm addicted to taste." If i have a group that might be how the meeting started. I love to taste things. New things i have never tried,old things that i know and love. If given the choice between a day at the spa or an all you can eat buffet with and ice cream bar, the buffet would always win. If they could just come out with a candy that had real to life tastes of different things i would never need to eat again. i would just pop that in my mouth and enjoy the taste of an egg,sausage and cheese muffin followed by a chocolate shake, topped off by a sweet potato,corn dogs,chilly cheese fries and a coke. IF you have ever seen Willy wonka (the original,of course) when Violet eats that gum that has a full 5 course meal, that's my dream. Forget the gob stopper, i would never want a candy that never ended. The same taste over and over,that would be my nightmare. I know its taste that i like and not just food because i will eat even when I'm full. I know that is gluttony, but that's my cross to bear.
I once a had chat with a cool older lady. She told me that she is just not that into food anymore because her sense of taste was so dull. I think a tear ran down my cheek at the mention of this. i had never thought of loss of taste as an old age issues. Sure i had thought how i would be if i had lost all my teeth, went blind or passed gas without knowledge of it. these "old age" things had run through my mind more than once, but loss of taste? My retirement plan was to forget healthy and eat like the wind. "Grandma, would you like another slice of cake?" "Sure sweet thing and while your at it put some ice cream on the side and some hot fudge would be nice." That was going to be me. But what if I could not taste any of it? Well, if that day ever did come then just call me "old yeller",take me out back and put me out of my misery!

Fear of Cupboards.

I have a very rational fear of a few cupboards in my home. As a professional homemaker and CEO of our house, one might think that each and every nook and cranny was well organized and spot on. Sadly, that is not the case.There are two doors i fear most but for the sake of time i will share only one. It belongs to the baking sheets and metal pans. It is a nice cupboard, tall and slender, just what a cookie sheet needs to feel at home. But my hand tremors and lump forms in my throat every time i need to get something in or out of it. You see, it is set up like a game of Tetris, if you move one pan the whole form falls. Then its me grabbing and snatching at the sheets of cold metal as they nosily fall out onto the soft linoleum floor. i almost always pinch a finger or jam a nail into the wrong place, only inflaming my hate for this particular storage space. "reorganize" you may say. Simple enough, however i feel that my fear of this unstoppable mess steams from a cupboard from may past...My mom's linen cupboard.As a child and teen i clearly remember being asked to fetch a sheet or towel only to have all of aforementioned items fall on me in a waterfall of soft fabric. This sad sight would later be fallowed up by a shriek from my mom when she found the mess that was never meant to happen. In my more immature days as a homemaker the Tupperware area was a problem but that's child play compared to the "baking cupboard of doom". In the end i'm sure that i will resolve this issue only to be confronted by some new household terror, but for now this is "mein kampf".

mornings...men Vs. woman

It seems that men and women tackle a new day in very different ways. i can only speak for what i have seen, both in my home growing up and in my marriage. I chuckled to myself as i stood by my kitchen sink taking the first sip of coffee. It was only 6:14 am. I reason for my mirth? i was reviewing in my head the events that had gotten me to that cup of Joe. Here they are,  alarm sounds at 6am. I'm up! crawl out of my bed, Turn on light in the living room and rub my eye that were not yet ready for the brightness. Set up the t.v. with the cartoon that our daughter would most like. pull hair out of my face as i creep up our stair as quietly as possible. wake Addie while at the same time finding her an acceptable outfit for the day,(all done by night light).   Turn off her fan and nightlight and march her back downstairs.Next I must retrieve a healthy breakfast for her that can be safely eaten in her half sleeping stupor. make my coffee and while i wait for it i wash the two pots and the blender left soaking in the sink.When i go to put the dirty fork into the washer i find it clean, so i will now empty it,(again quietly so as not to wake the other sleeping child.)One look at the hot lunch menu lets me know i better get the good old ham and cheese packed and ready to go. Oh look, the Dog needs to go out, better put some food in his bowl while I'm at it. Then its time for my coffee to be poured into the mug and a gentle warning sent into the living room that "i hope breakfast is being eaten". That's the first 14 minuets on my day in a nut shell.
Here is how my husbands day looks between 6am and 6:14am.  Alarm sounds. He rolls over. 6:10am he has made it as far as the bathroom to find his glasses. Now he is in the kitchen getting a cup of coffee,(that i lovingly made for him).That's about it.
I don't say any of this in a judgemental way. I don't think men are lesser to women in anyway. We all have our jobs and my husband does his job very well. I just think it is interesting to see how the different sexes function together. I am proud of the fact that some days i have not really even opened my eyes before i have packed a lunch, wiped a butt or cooked some eggs. i am glad i am wired in a way that wants to care for the family that i have been blessed with.Sure some days i wish i was the one that got to lay in bed while smelling the coffee "make itself", but there are a million other responsibilities that i don't have to deal with in a day because my husband takes care of it for me.

what am i doing?

Hi. Not even sure who i am saying hi to. Doubt anyone will ever read this and i guess that's OK. I have reached a point in my life where i want to try something new so here i go.

I hate writing. Always have. As a 30 year old severely dyslexic mother of three i have no idea why i would want to venture into yet another time consuming endeavor, however I feel this might be a creative way for me to rant, vent and "get my words out" when i need to. People have told me this is therapeutic, we shall see. So far it just seems like rambling. I like rambling,(when I'm the one doing it) so i think i will go with that.
I know that i am going to mess my kids up in some ways. I pray daily that i do as little damage as possible. I say this to clue you in that i know i am not a perfect parent. That being said i will now share what is on my mind. i wish parents would stop caring if their kids liked them and started parenting again. i see so many kids running wild, begging with their actions to be loved. to be loved means to give boundaries and stick to them. Kids need to fail. They need to feel pain. Life has pain,heartbreak, and problems. If we fix everything for the next generation when they are kids then how will they know how to deal with anything as adults? My generation is already a great example of this. I still know 30 somethings that get bailed out by mom and dad. I have no clue what i am doing when it comes to my kids. I am the one that has the crazy kids running around the school, church, where ever driving everyone nuts. My point is that i am not and will not be afraid to step up to them and make them feel that their actions have consequences, both good and bad. I am going into this child rearing thing with my eyes wide open. I know i will here "its not fair", "i hate you" and "all the other kids..." 1000 times in the next 15 years but it will be worth it when they are productive members of this planet.